Cheating Myth #4
I’ll never be able to trust my partner again.
Many of us have heard people flatly say that a spouse who cheats can never be trusted again. It’s a common statement that has the power to convince a person to adopt a 9 position before the incident even occurs.
We can train ourselves to succeed or fail, and deciding that a situation is hopeless before it even happens is a sure way to guarantee failure. Perspective is difficult to achieve, and it is nearly impossible to develop an accurate one from outside the situation.
People learn to trust in stages. As time goes by, and your spouse can see that your actions demonstrate trustworthiness, your relationship can improve if both you and your partner put a concerted effort into it. However, no effort you make will be great enough if your spouse has already decided that there can never be a resolution.
The process of healing takes time. It is not a course that can be rushed or forced. Resolution and restoration take an active, concerted effort from both sides. Beginning this process under false pretenses is a sure way to inhibit success. Part of being open and honest involves not making assumptions and not coming to conclusions prematurely.