Category Archives: Inspirational

“HOLDING TIGHT YOUR DREAM MAKES YOUR DREAM HOLD YOU TIGHT”

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Holding tight you dream makes your dream hold you tight” is a promise made to us by Vin Deca featuring Myra Maimoh in “I Encourage You”, a brand new dance – Pop release from the dance album “Electro Positive Plus”. “I Encourage You” was written in 2008 by Vin Deca particularly to and for himself to help keep him focused as he faced the new level new devil phenomenon while combating the difficulties of the music industry.

First released as a contemporary pop song in 2011 by Myra Maimoh on the “Album Answer’d Me”, the song gained such great resonance with the public that it spent over two months on the NCM charts.

After finding out that the song continued to be relevant to many since its release in 2011, Vin Deca decided to remix “I Encourage You” using todays sound and style. Four remixes of the song were recorded with the version “I Encourage You (Ebenholz Remix)” getting most favoured by radio stations and is thus receiving a great amount of radio play worldwide.

The smooth and uplifting song with an urban progressive sound comparable to that of Clean Bandit, Avicii and Mr.Probz is out now, a digital only release and is available everywhere online.

http://hitsmithrecords.com/holding-tight-your-dream/

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Moving from gridlock to dialogue and from disconnection to connection:

Moving from gridlock to dialogue and from disconnection to connection:

When couples disagree, most repeat the following disruptive pattern: blame, criticize, defend, express contempt, distance, and emotionally or physically withdraw.

Distress is not about how many fights you have or even if you resolve the fights. Distress is about how you fight, and whether you can retain some sort of emotional connection after the fight.

While traditional types of marital counseling and coaching tend to be open-ended and seek to solve immediate problems, such as continual arguing, by focusing primarily on behavior change and communication skills, our approach hones in on increasing a couple’s appreciation for how each partner feels in order to build trust and a secure base they can each rely on. In this approach, couples learn to recognize the negative cycle they are stuck in, where one person criticizes and the other responds defensively or withdraws. Couples learn to identify the needs and fears that keep them in that cycle. They learn to identify and express their underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other’s needs.

Until a couple is able to identify, acknowledge and ultimately forgive injuries, an emotional gulf persists between them. No matter how dissatisfying things have become and how unhappy or angry partners may be, they each need to feel safe in coming together to work out their problems. Each partner needs to understand the emotions dictating their actions. The emotions behind perceived problems are the key to understanding each other.

Signs of a couple in crisis:
• Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree.
• Avoidance/Withdrawal-one or both partners choose to avoid or withdrawal from conversations as a result of negative discussion.
• Invalidation-when one talks negatively about the beliefs, feelings, thoughts, looks, etc. of the other partner.
• Negative Interpretations-when one partner believes that the other partner is constantly behaving/speaking in a more negative way than is actually the case.
• Escalation-when in a discussion, one or both partners begin to escalate the conversation to hostile levels.
• Not handling disagreements as a team.
• Unrealistic beliefs about marriage.
• Difference in beliefs about important issues.
• A low level of commitment to one another (infidelity, no long-term goals, etc.)

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The Human Journey

If our claim is that we are about being totally, authentically who we are, then we need to see all the places, and ways in which, we are afraid to live it. If we examine ourselves closely most of us are not living very authentically. We are living someone else’s dream in someone else’s value stream. And, if we take a deeper peek behind our mask, it turns out that we care about all kinds of things. We care about other’s opinions of us, we worry about how they might react to us, we compare ourselves. We put ourselves up and others down or them down and us up. We are afraid to feel the stuff we’d have to feel by being our genuine Self.

Why do a lot of us behave this way? Perhaps because we want acceptance. Maybe because it hurts to feel judged. Maybe it’s a higher priority to beat ourselves up in hiding than be a loving mess out in the open. But the big reason we dare not be who we really are is that as children we traded our authenticity in exchange for relationship. As kids we were not fully embraced for who we were, and since connection is food and we needed it, we abandoned ourselves and created strategies to belong in the family. These are the roots of co-dependency and if you are not aware of this, you’ll unconsciously keep rocking that smart strategy that worked for you as a child and be less fulfilled in your relationships as a result. Good to recognize and see what we are up against if we truly want to be a self-governed soul on this human journey.

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